Sorry...

Sorry…

I know I have been MIA for a while and I apologize. Things have been difficult for me here since the twins were born and I am just so drained from constantly answering the same questions for the past 7 weeks. While the kids are still residents of the NICU, I have had very little time to do anything but work (I don’t get maternity leave) and try to take care of things at home. I am at the point where I am just done. I want to withdraw from society for a few weeks with my kids and just curl up in a ball on my bed and stay there. I’m not an outwardly emotional person, but the last few days I have found myself crying way too much for no reason other than I spilled water on myself. I have been trying to find positives to concentrate on, but lately those have been few and far between. The toughest part has been people, who I am hoping are trying to lift my spirits, share their story of how their baby stayed in the NICU for a week and now they are chemical engineers are Harvard. This just makes me want to punch you more. Today is day 53 for the twins in the NICU, and while they were not due until 23 November and they weren’t supposed to be born until 9 November, it is still heart-wrenching to leave them there day after day. They have a few more weeks to serve there, and while I know that in the scheme of things, this is a sort span of my life, it does not make it easier. I also know that once they are home, things will be even more challenging for us as both have to take their feedings a special way and need extra care. They will not be allowed to leave the house, save for doctors appointments, until April and I am already tired of explaining that to the world. We live in Wisconsin, have preemies and it is cold and flu season. What part of this do you not get?

2011.10.23 8:07am ∞

Ramblings of a Quasi-Academic

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